We are all just trying our best. Life as an ASD parent.

I was giggling and expressively finishing my story, arms wailing and haphazardly climbing the curb in 5 1/2 inch neon orange heels with my mind on ice cream and a smile ten miles wide, as I often have when spending time with a very dear friend.

“I have to say hello” a woman says to me from the the door or her car in the parking lot. Friendly kind face, a knowing smile. While I could have been on guard being stopped in a darkish parking lot I knew that she was friend immediately.

We stood and spoke a few minutes. I had been recognized from my Husbands Facebook site Ink4autism a Facebook group for parents, friends and ASD people.

She told me she was also an ASD Mom and told me about her great kids and how she enjoyed the site.

I gave Jack the well deserved credit for his labor of love.

When I went inside and sat down to enjoy my childhood delicacy I smiled and felt that great glow of being part of Something special. And I am.

Motherhood with a child on the spectrum is a secret knowing. There is a component of the journey that is just different and you truly have a bond with other parents that despite wanting to a non ASD parent can’t.
Sometimes we draw upon each other for strength. Others times understanding. We celebrate the wins and know just how pivotal and powerful they are, even when they seem insignificant. Especially then.

We are never alone.

As we struggle and persevere in an ASD world that sometimes seems dark remember you are never alone. The world is coloured with so many of us. Your community is highlighted with so many people like you that understand your fight and support it.

It took a late night run to DQ for me to be reminded of that but it was a gift I’ll hold with me always.

Autism again gives gifts and I count the blessing.

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4 thoughts on “We are all just trying our best. Life as an ASD parent.

  1. I am so happy to have found your blog, my little boy is about to turn 3 next month and all along I have had a feeling something was different about him. He was evaluated twice when he was 1 and 2 and he was normal, not autistic with some gross motor delays, large vocabulary 300 words. But I kept feeling something was up, I put him in a part-time preschool that offers gymnastics, dance, art, yoga to help him with his coordination, balance. After a week in the program, his preschool teacher expressed concern he was not relating with the other kids, happy to play by himself for hours, seemed aloof but content, not wanting to participate in activities as other 3 year olds, and very sensitive, she felt it seemed a lot like Asperger’s to her. I had him reevaluated yesterday, and the evaluators haven’t given me an official diagnosis, but they too felt him might be on the spectrum.

    Some of the things I have noted:
    – very picky with foods
    – doesn’t like to participate in new activities – at children museums, music class, etc. he acts overwhelmed
    – my husband is an engineer (apparently fathers of aspie kids in engineering are over represented)
    – most of the time holding one of his favorite cars or balls in his hand.
    – memorize complete lines from curious george and repeats them at random times.
    – very tickling – according to his preschool teacher in gymnastic and went I change his diaper very ticklish
    – he loves to find stray hairs and plays with them with his tongue, he doesn’t eat them, he takes them out of mouth and hands them over to me on his own, he has been doing this over a year now.
    – he likes to stay in crib even after he wakes, doesn’t cry, talk to himself, play in there. 
    – he does blank out sometimes, like he is focused on something, I will clap, snap fingers to get his attention (my husband is an engineer he does this too
    – loves to sort his cars, place in containers and dump them out, repeat the process.

    I would love to hear what you think, does this sound familiar. I am heartbroken about recent evaluations. But in the end, I just want my little boy to be happy, and I want to do everything I can to help him. I would love someone to talk to, I am first time mom (39 years old) and my mother was hit by a car and has brain damage, so conversations with other moms is challenging for me, not too many mom friends, especially with special needs.

    • These things do sound familiar and the best advice I can give is to let your boy be himself and enjoy and love hi for the boy he is! A lovely gift.
      It’s nature to want to be ‘textbook’ or normal but I implore you to just go with the flow and let him be himself and you be his Mom.
      Autism is not awful. I have 4 boys and sometimes my ASD kid is just a bit more special because he is different.
      It may be a little more challenging especially when they are young but it is still a beautiful experience and it gets easier as they mature.
      I’m always here to listen 🙂

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