Madhouse or Oasis? Life on the spectrum

It can be an utter madhouse, a cacophony of loud voices, background noise, clutter and action or the purest form of beauty. The innocent timbre of a child’s wonderment, the tinker of unabashed laughter, the joy of watching them interact and learn from thier environment, the loveliness of childhood in its purest form.

Im home from a long day of work and I’m hungry so I decide on one of my childhood delicacies, a peanut butter and banana sandwich and stand at the window and watch the six children in the frontyard play the classic child pass time- a game of tag.image

Regardless of how many times I’ve warned the kids to stay off the road I’m leery as I permit the littlest one to join in the fun but I also don’t want to coddle him too much so I stand back and trust he’s heard my warnings and he’ll heed them.

My oldest son floats through the empty hallway and peers over my shoulder at his comrades, he fidgets and I can tell he’s thinking something.


“yes babe”

“can I go out too?”

A simple request. At 11 yrs old it even seems redundant as he should be allowed if the younger boys are outside already.


Autism  has kept him protected. At times regular kid activities are just too dangerous without supervision. Lincoln wants permission to go outside alone or he’d ask for me to come outside as he normally does. He’s testing and wanting his independence… And I want him to have it.

“of course. Please stay off the road and don’t touch the car”


He slides his shoes on and calls to the others.

The mere fact he WANTS to play with others is exciting, I’m bursting with giddiness that outweighs the concern.

I slowly edge away from the window. As the minutes tick by my trepidation slowly wans and I slide into the couch cushion and close my eyes as I chew my sandwich and just enjoy.

It is a tricky balancing act parenting an ASD child.

Like the circus plate spinner balancing act you must slowly add another plate in order to allow your child to grow and become self sufficient.

Each spinning plate precariously turns on a ridiculously thin post, your child will venture out with the hope of being “just one of kids on the block” and the reality of it is… They are.image

The days it is a madhouse I reflect back on these simple moments and draw strength and on the days of childhood simplicity and beauty I smile and thank God for giving me the gifts I have been blessed with in my children.

And If my days are full of children playing tag out my window I will never want for anything.

Enjoy the simple things. They are the foundation of greatness.


One thought on “Madhouse or Oasis? Life on the spectrum

  1. Hello I really enjoy reading your post, they make me so glad that I am not alone on this journey. My son had his first field trip yesterday, he was put one on one with a teacher that kept a good eye on him, but all day I was a little worried about him wondering will he wander off and get lost. Turns out he had a good day with his class, but sometimes I do have a hard time letting have that independence on fear that a teacher may turn their back for a second and he would be gone cause he wandered off. I know hes only 5 and I have to let him learn to have that independence but its not easy sometimes. I am really happy though that he was safe and that he had a great day.

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