The noise that is coming from my backyard likely would send a childless couple into HUGE reconsideration as to whether children are in the cards or sanity is preferable.
I sit with a glass of wine in hand and smile to myself as I watch my four not so little anymore boys dressed as warriors pay together on the trampoline. They are rowdy, rough and righteous and I love watching them in action.
Their creativity is an endless fount once you detach them painfully from “technology” and force them into the sunshine. They blink, eyes squint as if a second old babe new to the world emerging from his mother. They pause to take in the cool fall breeze and feel the warmth of the late September sun then the ideas start to flow and “boyhood” unpauses and continues.
The best thing to see is how seamlessly my ASD child joins into the play and is one with his brothers. 4 boys playing boyishly. No distinction.
As a Mom we have certain fears we dare no speak and one of my big ones is being able to enjoy friends and family as much as I have in my life.Bonds. Ties. Commonality that bind us together and swell our hearts and grow our minds.
When I watch my boys frolick and laugh together I know all the hard times and hard work was worth it. While I used to not need a relaxing glass of wine at 4 pm on a Sunday, I know that the strife is just a stepping stone to great things. A hell, wine is an enjoyment. No shame in enjoying one now and then 🙂
Isn’t this why we had to kids to begin with?
I am sure there are a million little things that go on in that yard that I would frown upon but boys will be boys and that camaraderie is therapeutic and will teach my kids how to be good friends, good husbands, good lovers and good decent people. I can over look a few “boy things” and allow them a little freedom on a Sunday afternoon just to “be”.
While life on the spectrum is challenging and sometimes fitting in is more challenging, I love that my boys accept their brother for the amazing boy he is. After all, he accepts them “as is” Even his best friend and littlest brother Bishop who he wonders often “how he is ever going to turn out ok” 🙂 That superior ASD attitude!
Tonight when I close my eyes and try to shut off my over active and constantly cluttered mom brain, I will know that my kids are ok and they will always have each other.
That is enough for me.