Funny things kids say! Autism doesn’t have to erase a sense of humor!

There are a lot of funny things my kids say in general, but I do find my 7 yr old Autistic child is one of the funnier kids I know.

So, Happy Hump day.

I have put together a little montage of funny kid sayings to help make you smile on a rainy Wednesday 🙂

Lincoln -Singing along to ‘sexy and I know it’

“This is how I roll,animal pants out control
Walkin’ along with my big ass frog…”

REAL lyrics:
This is how I roll, animal print, pants out control,
It’s RedFoo with the big afro

Tonight Lincoln finished brushing his teeth, turned to me and stood his toothbrush between my breasts. Dear GOD! Do they really start being like this at 7? LOL What an eye opener

Only 2 more weeks of each morning seeing Lincoln under the tree muttering to himself “drat! no presents again…”

Lincoln to Gray (who has his first extremely loose tooth) “Come on!! Give me that F*^&King tooth!!!” Thank you Lincoln for helping us to create our very 1st swear jar policy. I am going to make more from your Dad then what I would if I divorced him.

Lincoln to his brother when I asked him if he loved Gray (as Grayson informed me his brother didn’t love him) “Yeah, but your still a Weiner!”

Me: “dinner will be ready in a second, go sit down” Gray “Well thanks! it smells awful!” *sigh* Thanks, Kid.

So,yesterday I catch my 3 yr old kissing a picture of “Maryse” the french Canadian Diva in my 5 yr olds wrestling book. I ask him “did you just kiss that book?”

And I asked the kid what he liked about her and honest to GAWD he never mentioned her ta tas. Not once!

he says “yeah, she’s pretty” Starts early I see!

Love, love, LOVE the big cheesy grin Hawk gave when watching my little ponies and exclaimed “I love this show, it is AWESOMESAUCE!”

Hey Mom! I farted on Hawkin!” Me: “I’m impressed” Gray “you’re not mad?” Me: “well you didn’t fart on me, so …no.”
‎”I didn’t pick my ass! I didn’t” Hawk age 3 dinner conversationist extraordinaire.


Over dinner I was told I am not sexy but Jack must love me because I cook dinner and we kiss a lot and are a family. Oh, and When Lincoln becomes a zoo keeper he is feeding Grayson to the Alligators!
Hawk “what are we having for dinner?”
Me “Beef Stew”
Hawk “that is HORRIBLE! I want nachos!!”

Huh. -for real, if I EVER did that to my Mom, I am pretty certain I would be the next nights dinner.

“MOM! can you PLEASE give me your attention?” and I feel bad. “Yes, son, of course” I turn around and Gray drops an atomic wedgie on Hawk, beaming with pride. Perfect! A chip of the ol’ block!!

I was telling the kids about once when my sister got me in trouble and I drew a cartoon of her being tied to a stick of dynamite with the old fashion push detonator (that a figure strangely looking a lot like me was in control of…and how I got in a lot of trouble for doing that, but it was funny.
Grayson sat quietly for a second then requested “a piece of paper”.
Apple – you don’t fall far from the tree!

My son Grayson told me I wasn’t sexy (as in I’m sexy and I know it) but my little Prince HAwk came quick to my rescue to tell me I was “Womanly” WOW! for 3 that is pretty sauve. 😉

I used the kids leapPad to make Grayson’s picture look like an alien and now he is pissed at me. They use it to moon each other on video and my creative photoshop is ticking HIM off??
LOL kids!
Currently, the kids are using their new Leap Pad to video themselves “mooning” each other. Seriously, God help the world!

“Mom, can I have a chocolate?” –“No.”— “can I have the Jack-n-the-box” —“No.”–“I won’t hit you with it, I promise!” — “What the hell? No! Let me clean the floor, play with your Batcave!”

Hawkin “Lincoln is not sharing his submarine!” (they are in the bath) Me “well it is kinda hard to share a submarine toy” Hawkin “no, it is easy. you use two hands, pick it up and give it to the other kid.”
Hmmm. He has a point. Gotta love kids.

Hawk age 4 says as I put the kids to bed and hopped on the eliptical…when I got off Hawk yelled out to me “MOM! why are you getting off?? You’re not skinny yet!!” Man, if only it was THAT easy!!


8 thoughts on “Funny things kids say! Autism doesn’t have to erase a sense of humor!

  1. These were hilarious! In my Cameron book, I did a chapter called “The Little Things he Says.” I wanted people to know that kids like him are capable of being cute and funny. It’s not all serious life-changing things.
    He memorizes things and repeats them back verbatim, as part of his regular speech. Sometimes they appear out of the blue.
    One night, I was trying to get him to go to sleep. He sleeps in the same room as us, but on the far side of the room, in his own bed. We struggled with the sleep thing for a while. He talked and talked. He went to the bathroom more than once. I was growing frustrated.
    The last time he asked to go to the bathroom, I responded with, “Okay, but this is your last time. You’d better get to sleep after you get back.”
    He came back and got into his bed. All was quiet for a long time. I finally dared to hope that he had gone to sleep.
    Suddenly, from out of the darkness, came a little voice. “Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.”
    I cracked up! He said, “What’s so funny?” Forcing myself to sound serious, I said, “Nothing. Go to sleep.”

    • OH MY! that is funny 😛
      Lincoln use to repeat funny things verbatim but now he is mixing and matching repeated things to make NEW jokes…it is so very interesting!
      My guy gets up like 2-3 times before he settles in for the night too. Does Cameron wake up talking a blue streak too?

      • Oh my gosh, yes! His mouth never stops, from the time he opens his eyes ’til he goes to sleep! There are nights that he falls asleep and I think, “Thank God he’s asleep!”
        He is interesting and funny, but there are times when I really understand that saying, “Silence is golden,” or however it goes.

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