Maybe it is just me, but I don’t wish each night that Autism wasn’t part of my life.
Sure, at times it sucks. I said it.
It is upsetting to think that my child may not ever experience the pangs of true love, a kegger party, or the excitement of driving a car for the first time alone or perhaps holding his own son in his arms but I don’t rule it out just yet AND I stay positive that all these things can and will happen.
On a beautiful, sunshiny November morning I have to take the time to tell you all why I truly feel blessed to have an son touched by Autism.
Afterall, if we never count our blessings, have we not cheated ourselves of the warm feeling that starts deep in the recesses of our heart and spreads and through each vein, limb, hair and makes us glow with love and admiration?
I think so.
I love the simplicity of my sons comments.
He sees it and then says it as it is. There is no malice, no false air, no contempt. It is as it is, nothing less, nothing more.
“Mom, this walrus really is interesting. Look at his big tusks.Those are some really gigantic teeth.” TO Mom at the dentist office, while he looks at the “tooth book” by Dr Suess.
“Here, here is a big girls tooth book. You should read it.” handing Mom the 200 page tooth care book. Right, it is a Mom’s book indeed.
“Mom, you have a big butt. But, it is ok because you have big pants” Yes, son. That is right. Nothing wrong with a big butt.
“I will have the cheese because the other stuff is gross. So hand it over. The cheese, not the gross stuff”
He also seems to seems to find such contentment in the outdoors.
I remember being a child and always being outside with my siblings.
We played imaginary games, we dug and built castles, we played baseball, some of us dreaming about being big league stars, some more interested in fine tuning the uniform so we look fab-u-lous in the jersey and had a slightly foxy bum wiggle when up to bat. (ok, it wasn’t me aspiring to the big leagues)
I have 4 sons and when I watch them play I notice such a difference in the technique of exploring the world around them and then the interaction between the boy and the elements.
Lincoln delves deeper into his surroundings. He ‘feels’ the sand, the grass, the texture of the pine needles. I watch as he tilts his head to the side in thought pondering what his fingers have experienced. He closes his eyes and does it again. He moves closer, really inspecting the sand, his eye-catching a glint of sun off the spec as it moves across his hand.
He doesn’t often share his findings but at times when it is just delicious a finding not to share he will come to me with excitement. “Mom! look at this! See how all the little sands glow under the sun, they sparkle when I move my hand!”
There is a rigidness of a child on the spectrum and at times it is a hinderance, but once they learn how to respond to it and that their needs are respected and considered these children learn the expectations and can bend a little. I find that my son now can bend a lot and he does and I find there is a quaintness in his rigidness to the response to daily routines — and I find it heartwarming.
“Lincoln, it is time for bed”
“But I want to watch this show..”
“Can I watch tv tomorrow?”
“Yes LIncoln, you can watch it tomorrow” Once I Say this he always gets up, turns off the tv and calls his brothers to come up stairs to bed.
He ALWAYS says the same thing.
The confirmation that tv will still be there tomorrow gives him comfort and he is able to then conced that he is tired and indeed ready for bed.
He also seems to know when he goes to bed and will remind you if you are deviating from that time.
He often says it is time for bed before I get a chance.
With me being a little less strict with timeframes he has begun to police me! I like that he regulates himself and it helps for him to learn to take care of himself. Even at 6.
One very fortunate thing for us is that Lincoln is very affectionate as opposed to many children with ASD that are not. He loves to “feel skin” and often is found petting his brothers soft cheek or arm. He loves to cuddle and will tuck himself under your arm and snuggle in for a book or movie or find a sibling to squeeze between to cuddle with too.
He does have a few odd interests, one being the armpit.
I have been asked more times then I care to recall if he can look at my armpit. I suspect may the secret warm of the spot is enjoyable to him, and of course the fact that it is tickly. I guess we all have our funny peccadilloes.
Now that Lincoln is getting bigger he is becoming very informative and teaching. He loves to spout of about whales, sharks and dinosaurs and he often tells me facts that I did not know so it is a learning experience for me too 🙂 I like his take on subject and like seeing he shares his knowledge with his brothers as well as his parents.
Most of all I just love my beautiful little boy. He is a gift I could not thank God enough for and I just know he will continue to keep me smiling and thankful for being given the opportunity to be his Mom.
Autism is not a punishment folks. It is a gift, treat it as such and you will enjoy it for years to come.
The days that are hard and not very enjoyable (and lets be truthful, they are some) they are so outweighed by the good ones. As time goes on, my boy matures, and he begins to deal with things betters. A baby bird cannot be expected to crack out of the egg and fly. Neither can a child.
Go slowly, and be patient, with yourself AND your child. Soon he shall spread his wings and fly.