Tuesday laugh…Past Fackbook statuses.

“You need to like wrestlers…but not now, cause you are still teeny. When you are bigger” Grayson 3 years to Baby Bishop 3 mths.

Lionflowers are cute, since kids confuse themselves when referring to dandylions 🙂

Do NOT start a game of hide-n-seek while distracted. I thought I lost Gray but he was actually just patiently hiding while I changed on kid and fussed around with another.

is it so wrong to say Batman LOVES peas and carrots, so eat yours?

babies have the cutest yawns and very sweetest sleepy smiles.

was a bit confused as to why the pizza dude was looking at her in “the way” because afterall, she is still a mess from the joy of pregnancy..BUT she forgot–one thing benefits from childbirth, and that is actually two things…BOOBIES. The ones she forgot to tuck back in properly before answering the door! HAPPY MONDAY

Fart, kid. I’d like to go to bed, please.

My children ran the soccer field this afternoon long enough that they SHOULD have been asleep at the dinner table…Instead, something goofy transpired and I got stabbed with a muppet fork. Needless to say, after a long LONG day, I was not impressed.

Grayson and Lincoln are talking in car about pets. Gray names our dog and cat and then adds —
“and we had another cat named Barclay, but she got sick and went to Kevin.”

Here is parenting at it’s most creative…after a long week, kid drops 4th tooth in maybe 6 weeks and at 11pm at night parents realize they have NO CASH!

My kyboard is stuck and on lttr won’t typ…guss which on!!?

Holy 3 yr old that crys all day long! Hawk, you need to have a calgon moment. Seriously.
Try doing a weeks worth of housework in 4 hours then get back to me.
Sheesh.

Dear school lunches:

I humbly request you learn to make yourself.

Thanking you in advance,

Tired Mom

THe Sears WISH BOOK came today!!! Think Molly Maid and BRad PItt are in under $20??

Damn you eliptical trainer! You shrink my ass but also suck my will….

Rocking out to Green Day in the car Gray states “This is vacation” “Holiday” I correct “but great recognition AND vocabulary for a 5 yr old!”

I LOVE that my 5 yr old appreciates music, but when I hear him sing at the top of his lungs “I’m a brand new bitch!!” I just wonder a little if I am, even a tiny bit, warping him for life.
• Amanda Marrison
‎”Hey Mom! I farted on Hawkin!” Me: “I’m impressed” Gray “you’re not mad?” Me: “well you didn’t fart on me, so …no.”

Ironic: Hawk screaming “Mom, I just wanna help” from the inside of the house the WHOLE time I paint the front porch. Help me son, grab me a cold one….

‎4 kids ALL ate their dinner. Not ashamed to admit I told them the “dinner spider” would come and eat them if they did not eat their dinners (cause you know that is what they prey on little defiant kids that refuse to eat bakes ravioli) Just wish I thought of it before now!

‎”Lemonade! why would you want lemonade, it doesn’t turn your tongue OR poop green!” A little fatherly advice at the dinner table tonight.

And finally…

Today, while I was in the elevator, two elevator techs were also riding along measuring the inside of it. I turned to the one tech and said “ooooooooohhhhhhhhhh! wallpapering??” He didn’t laugh, but you bet your ass I did! People need to get a sense of humor.

Don’t take life so seriously, people! Happy Tuesday.

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