No one expects to become invisible.
We all feel that we have purpose. We are important. We matter and people, we do matter. We exist, we really do.
What happens though, is we become so effective as superhero protectors, nurturers, mentors, cooks…ok, not cooks, Martha Stewart I am not but you see where I am going with this, we become so effective that we become the background, like a blue screen used for filming stunts in movies. And then we are always THERE but not really there at all.
I think some place between kid one and kid two I became ” incognito”.
I started to fade out about the time kid three came.
By kid 4 I was completely transparent.
I was glad for it, you know, because I had a little more “junk in the trunk” then I could, with a straight face, claim to be mommalicious, so the fact no one would notice helped my ego stay healthy.
At first I didn’t really understand what had happened. It was perplexing, to say the very least.
I’d spend the day with 4 kids, one swinging from my not so perky breasts (girls don’t let them tell you your girls will always be perky, even AFTER breast-feeding, they lie!) cleaning like a mad fiend all day to try to keep the dust bunnies from hopping away with one of the younger children and actually concocting a half way healthy meal during a wrestling match. One in which 3 kids stripped off all their clothes and started wranglin’ each other on the floor in front of where I was trying to attempt to create something grander than “KD deluxe” for dinner.
…to be continued.