Happy New Year, Everyone!
As with most of us, it has been a whirlwind from December 1st to 31st and now here we are. January 1st, 2011.
I am taking a quiet moment (I know, they are very rare in our home!) to reflect on all the progress we have made in just 365 days.
Lincoln was diagnosed in April of this year and although we knew we were looking at the Autism spectrum, I have to say it is life changing to be told in person and then on paper that yes, your son has Autism.
I have never been one to let anything stop me ( just ask my parents) and I see no reason to have this diagnosis be the first thing to succeed in slowing me down. It will prove to be a worthy adversary, throwing us curve ball after change-up, after fast ball…but hell, who doesn’t enjoy the thrill of a challenge and the perfect “crack” when you nail that sucker for a homer.
When I was carrying Lincoln I never really could gauge exactly what a child would do to change my world.
I knew that I had forged a bond that was unbreakable. I knew that the soft little flutters of arms and legs in motion, the rhythmic waves of hiccups and 6am elbows from within were a first that would never fade from my mind and heart, no matter how much time and how many other children followed.
When I first kissed his tiny little nose and held his five tiny fingers in mine I made a silent vow to him to always love him just for him and to never give up on him, and just as importantly, on me. We were a team. A strong team, built on love.
Today when I look back over the last 12 months my heart swells with pride.
I have an amazingly curious, funny, sensitive, loving, and intelligent little boy with the most beautiful searching eyes that I could ask for. Approaching 6 years young Lincoln is settling in to school, becoming more and more independent and free-spirited and has learned to be a fantastic helper to a busy Mom on the go. He is a great big brother, always thoughtful and loving. My others sons cherish him as much as he does them.
Where a year ago he would refuse to leave the house alone he now is going to take the school bus to school. He is learning to play games and group toys with his brothers and enjoys the companionship instead of always playing alone. We are starting to have conversations about his interests and he is soooooo very curious about the amazing world around him.
A year ago I might have felt this would never be the case.
Just 365 days ago I imagine I felt more lost and bogged down with the challenge of helping my son and providing him all the tools he needs to be a happy kid. I worried more. I doubted myself A LOT more.
NOW, I have a much more improved view and see the path we are travelling down and it is full of light and hope and happiness.
I have felt a plethora of emotion over the past year and the one emotion I did not lose is DETERMINATION.
A family is a steadfast wall that is only strong by applying mortar to bind the brick together. Our mortar is our experiences and the bricks the 6 of us. Family. Love. Determined to soar past adversity and be stronger for it.
My sons truly are lost pieces of my heart returned home. I would not change one single thing about them, nor would I want them to feel anything about them was not a blessing to me.
It is. It will always be.
And Lincoln, I thank you, for giving me a gift I could not ever match.
I am so proud of you my son. You have come so very far.
Let us see what 2011 holds for us.
As the saying goes: “Aim for the moon because if you miss, you will always land on a star”
Happy New Year!!