No small talk required

Being new to the world of Aspergers, each day is a great learning experience for us.

With your first child, you never really know what to expect.

I suppose we all pull out our Dr Spock text book and flip venemently through it praying that our little angel hit his milestone early and is a ‘superbaby’ of sorts.

We all hold our breath when the Doctor weighs them in at a check-up and wait to be told our little one is meeting all expectations.

We try so hard to avoid any deviation from the norm that we go crazy searching for it.

Sometimes though, it is not easy to see, nor, is it always a terrible thing to find.

Lincoln was a perfect baby. He was happy, slept well and progressed along perfectly.

At 10 months he walked then quickly ran! Crawling was a 2 week experience deemed unnecessary.
He talked when he was suppose to, he met every milestone. He was a loving boy who played well alone and seemed content to play alone as long as you were near by when a hug was required.

His little brother came along 17 months after his birth. He was a content little boy that did not seem jealous or upset by the new addition. I never had to worry about him bothering with the baby, he seemed to understand a baby was fragile, and left him to be cared for by his parents.

Brother #2 came just after Lincolns 3rd birthday. He still used his soother to calm himself, but was a happy little boy…a little quieter then most, but capable of talking to express himself or request things.

The one thing we noticed that niggled at us was A) Lincoln always played alone and B) He really had no desire to small talk. He would ask for something, advise us of something but never talk just to talk.

When our 2nd son started talking fluidly around 2 1/2 yrs and Lincoln was 4 yrs we noticed he began to get anxious about change. We also noticed our chatterbox talked circles around our quiet guy. The context and prose of speech were very different. Lincoln seemed to choose selected exerts from show and movies to converse where Grayson chose his own sentences and words.

Lincoln began to seem to “ignore” and “divert” from our questions. At times he refused to make eye contact. He started to become more withdrawn and anxious. We couldn’t slough it off any longer as “he is content to be alone”.

Because Lincoln could dress himself, he was toilet trained, he talked, he climbed he ran, met all the milestones…we kept questioning wether or not we were looking for a ‘text book’ child and just coming up short or was there really something wrong?

Sign up for JK came May of Lincolns 4th year. I dreaded it.

Deep in my heart I knew my child was not ready for School. I knew I was not just being an over protective or not wanting to let him get older. I felt it in my bones. I needed to keep him safe, and prepare him.

TO be continued…

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